(Photo by @sfisherx) Monday was what my nightmares are made up of – but instead of me being able to wake up from said nightmares, I had to keep seeing them. I had to walk the isles of the holding pens and pretend I was writing down numbers to bid on. Saving this little one (pictured) is the most vivid memory of that day. After watching him get slammed onto the ground and knocked unconscious, I forced myself to say, "God, they're so slow. How do you deal with it?!" to the worker. We then laughed together. Leanne from @goatsofanarchy scooped this lamb up and we went back around the corner where another worker was standing. I ran up to him and asked if we could have this little lamb since he could no longer walk. The worker said, "Sure. Take him before he's marked dead." At that moment, I kid you not, I hugged him. The man who had an ear tag punch in his hand. I hugged him so genuinely – it was one of the only times that day I wasn't acting. That man ultimately saved his life – but at the same time, aided in sending thousands more to their deaths. Bearing witness at auction is something that every single animal lover, activist, advocate should do. It rips me apart inside but it also motivates me. The tears usually don't fall until days later because you really go into a state of shock while there. A numbness washes over you like a crashing wave. It's not gradual. BAM. Just like that, your brain sends signals to try to protect your heart. It's absolutely wild. This little lamb is on and off – touch and go. He's a fighter though. Him and his brother are admitted to the hospital in the critical care unit. I'll keep you all posted as always. To donate toward their medical bill, PayPal boochaces@aol.com / Venmo boochaces / Visit RanchoRelaxoNJ.org (Graphic Warning ?Swipe left to see a glimpse of what we saw!)

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